Brooklyn progressive rock/occasional metal act Pseudo/Sentai has spent the last five toiling, and has finally completed not one, but two full length albums. The first of which, Bansheeface, will drop in October. I don’t typically hype things that are happening an entire season from now, because the entire world could change, Exiled could become a strictly jazz and unicorns themed blog, shit changed, who the fuck knows. However, the titular advance track has piqued my interest just enough to give these dudes a nod.
Earsplit was so kind as to mass spoonfeed us a super hype-y email that makes Pseudo/Sentai sound like the next Mars Volta (either the highest of compliments or fuck-damn fighting words), full of the usual shaft-in-throat complimentary comparisons (see Haken, Portishead, Wilco, gold plated cancer curing Jesus, you know, the usual) but the thing that grabbed the fuck out of my ear is the way that the track manages to sound proggy, incredibly poppy (Weezer/Ozma poppy) while still incorporating moments of frantic, yet controlled noodles and riffage. After 3 back to back listens, I’m admittedly curious, even eager to hear the LP come October 28th. Maybe the Mars Volta comparisons aren’t completely out of line. My only genuine gripe is that the dudes left the “only 3 plays then pay” option checked on Bandcamp, which is reasonable with a full release, but in this case is just irritating because no one wants to buy a track twice. - Joshua Isaac Finch
Why does the Sports movie guy from SNL get to make the big disaster epic about video games? Shouldn’t this be Chris Hardwick’s movie? It’s like when white people get cast as not white people. You’re just adding insult to injury Hollywood! Come to think of it, Billy Madison is not the only SNL sports movie man. The Elf guy did a lot of sports movies too. But then we get into whether or not auto racing is a sport (it’s not). Or if ice skating is a sport (it’s sporty, for sure). Billy did 2 footballs and a golf. That’s 2 about an undisputed sport and 1 about a game that a lot of people mistake for a sport. Elf just did a basketball and then the 2 in question so at best this was a draw on how many athlete movies. Still, we don’t see Elf making a movie about fighting Calls of Duty. He knows his place…the comedy jock locker room.
This thing is basically the plot of Contact and the plot of Independence Day and sort of the plots of most of early video games with a splash of the plot of King of Kong. They also do a weird twist where the main characters in the real life version of this thing would be those Furious 7 dudes and the main characters in this thing should have been on headsets telling Rock Johnson what to do. Watching this film made me wonder if it’s cheaper to do CGI if it looks like old crap that didn’t look good to begin with. Was this movie $20 to make? Also, is Billy Madison made out of the same dough that Pete Holmes is made out of? What’s that bakery? They’re only half baked so they’re still pretty doughy. You can have that…anyone?
We keep making movies about nostalgic stuff and history and regurgitating ancient premises punched up by hackneyed jokes. I think it’s pretty obvious what is going on. We can’t tell the future. So, what do we do? We should make movies about making these movies. There can be documentaries about those movies getting made and then spin offs from the documentaries about all of the camera men from Pixels and then an origin story for everyone. Maybe a “What If…” series where we could suppose how if different choices were made in the final audio mix of the movie how it would have changed it. The possibilities are endless, really. Get out there and see this thing. Especially if you’re blind. Maybe it’ll cure you. I’m not promising that it will. But if it did, you’d sure be happy that you went to see it. Unless you didn’t want to see…Pixels. – Seth Milstein
Madison Wisconsin hardcore act, Zebras was born in 2007, as a punk band, but that doesn’t matter seeing as how they shit-canned all of their previous material when drummer Shane Hochstetler (Call Me Lightning, Multiple Truths, Haymarket Riot etc.) joined, replaced their gear and gave their sound a serious face-punchy overhaul. Their creatively titled LP, Zebras was pretty heavy, noisey, sick as fuck, but one listen to the upcoming (but already totally streamable) The City of The Sun sounds like they’ve upped their game considerably. Listen at home and punch your own face in. – Simp Taylor.
In January of this year congress passed a law that forbids any film or television series to exist outside the Marvel Cinematic Universe. This was a controversial decision at first. Most Americans stating that the new law “seems wrong” but then also agreeing that there hasn’t been a protagonist yet that wouldn’t benefit from some bizarre and specific ability along with an unlikely origin story to match. Rather than throw out 3 films of similar content like their originals did, Ant Bully, Antz, and A Bug’s Life went in on this sequel, Ant Man (There were ants in A Bug’s Life, right? I remember that one being all kinds of bugs. There had to be ants…that’s one of the most famous bugs.). So, they basically just say that or someone did and then this thing doesn’t talk about any of the those movies’s stuff. I guess they’re just trying to show loyalty to MCU out of fear for being blacklisted.
The story goes that this bad guy who’s kind of good meets this old guy who’s young at heart. Unfortunately, he’s still old at body so he needs young Bad-good to young it up in his stead. However, Old Youngheart was pretty extreme at being young so Bad-good has his work cut out for him. Youngheart gives Bad-good a new hat and leotard that make him an ant guy. It’s kind of like “Honey, I Shrunk Iron Man…But He Can’t Fly Or Shoot Lasers But He Can Punch Stuff Hard and He’s Got a Rope Sooo…” but they just called it Ant Man to avoid high print costs on the advertising (they charge by the letter).
I think the bigger story here is about the little guy. Ant Man is just a metaphor about Tyrion Lannister…who is a metaphor for the plight of the independent businessman in corporate global economics. I might mean analogies. The point is this: Paul Rudd wants you to start a record store or burrito cart or whatever your dumb thing is. You’ve wasted enough of your life trying to press yourself into a capitalist mold. It’s time to put down your spreadsheets and pick up your dream of selling devil sticks to stoned people outside of Dave Matthews Band concerts because Phoebe’s husband from “Friends” thinks it’d be neat.
You know what I think? You will in a second… I think you should see it unless you won’t like it. Then you should just buy a ticket and sit in the theater with your Google Glasses on and bid on Disney merch on Ebay. youhavetoappeasethemtheyarealwayswatching. If you do see it, you may agree that it is fast moving and shiny. If you don’t see it, you may agree that penne noodles are better than linguini. Maybe not. I don’t know your life. – Seth Milstein
Colorado progressive/black/folk/goddamned everything metal act, Dreadnought is unveiling their sophomore LP, Bridging Realms on August 11th. Heavy Blog Is Heavy premiered the title track today (and wrote a much more in-depth piece, so go read it) and we dug it so much we couldn’t help but share it.
“Bridging Realms” ranges from haunting witch rock to driving black metal (albeit with pristine production) to ethereal celtic tones. All in all, fucking massive, epic, and beautiful, delivering all the more motivation to spend some quality time with this record when it finally drops. – Joshua Isaac Finch