I’m so very stoked to be reviewing something hash-tagged “shoegaze” instead of explaining why something isn’t actually shoegaze, or explaining why something IS shoegaze, or worst of all explaining WHAT is shoegaze and spiraling into a self-loathing clusterfuck over how caught up I tend to get in labels. I fucking hate labels. Sure, PARTS of this release might be kinda sorta shoegazey or whatever, but fuuuuu… *clenches teeth*
This teeny little split is delightful. Airs showcases the respective bookends of their sound over the course of their two tracks, the first of which (“Pretty Sure”) is an energetic and punchy rock n roller, moving at full steam from the first moment of its drums and heavily muted guitar opening. Following is “Fade”, a lush instrumental that plays like a bite-sized post-rock interlude. A really solid introduction for new listeners.
Nevermind Me, with whom I am admittedly not at all previously familiar, are instantly charming. The first of their 2 contributions, “Cinema” sounds like what would happen if the twinkliness of American Football met the best parts of the Eisley’s DuPree sisters. The second offering, “Lose You” is a crunch-heavy, 90′s reminiscent, slow-burn rocker with some surprise blast beats for good measure. Definitely worth a stream or two. – Joshua Isaac Finch
Admittedly, that headline kinda says it. Apneic Void will release Naked’s new record, Hopeless on limited edition cd-r, cassette and in digital format on March 15th. The Baltimore based act seems to be reveling in the gloomy, but incredibly popular, mire of precious-bedroom-recording intimacy on their third release, and we couldn’t be more stoked about it. Noisey premiered the single of the same name yesterday. In case you missed that (we did, but we’re pretty lazy sometimes. Just go with it) It’s a melancholic gem. Try not to wear it out before the album drops. #goodluckbro – Joshua Isaac Finch
What could I possibly say about an entire movie that based on a throw away joke? I could say a lot of things. Anything really. Farkus. Matchbox. One hundred twenty one goldfish. But I’m not going to say those because that’d be too obvious. What I’d like to say is that this film seemed like a really fun thing to watch.
As the title might suggest, the film is centered around a waterproof watch. There’s these four friends who have the watch or whatever but one of them is gone because he found the integrity that he lost before agreeing to hanging out with these dudes in the first place. So they meet up with some other plain funny guy for another hour and a half of continuously checking to see if the watch is still waterproof.
I’ve never actually had a waterproof watch. I get rashy around most water so I have to bathe exclusively in Mountain Dew. They don’t make a Dew-proof watch because I don’t think there’s a watch alive that could handle that. The Dew would do them rather than them doing the Dew as the Mountain Dew people have indicated was the correct method for ingestion. The watches are just innocent pawns in nature’s game at this point. The Dew is just bending to it’s instincts as a predator.
All of that is beside the point. The point is that you buy a waterproof watch so that you can keep checking to see if it’s waterproof. It’s why they exist. I didn’t get a real great look at the movie this time because I tried out the new Cinemart 53 inter-dimensional screens. I know that sounds like their old screens but as I’m sure you know they have that quantum anomaly that enables them to shift a customer into a parallel dimension where they’ve built environment-resistant theaters so they have the space for all the screens. Well, now there’s an option where they just give you a tablet that plays the movie while you get to actually interact with your environment. That’s what I tried, so I spent most of the time using an energy bow to fight off a herd of cat-moose people riding on these big floating peanuts with angry cow heads. Fuck those things!
All in all I found the movie to be very colorful. It also had lots of music in it. There was some yelling and fart sounds as well. I’m thinking it was probably great. I’m gonna wait until the third one to watch them all in a row like a 5K of movies. When that time comes, I won’t bathe for a week beforehand so I can watch them all without being so sticky the whole time. – Seth Milstein
Seth Milstein is a comedian, father and humor writer. You can enjoy (thoroughly up to you) his new piece “A Shoe In” in the Poverty issue of Savage Henry Magazine, out now.
The most interesting news we’ve been struck with today (obviously debatable) is the impending release of Godspeed You! Black Emperor’s new record Asunder, Sweet & Other Distress. Out March 31st, Asunder will be a short and sweet release, according to Constellation Records, clocking at 40:23, making it the band’s first single LP since the 1990′s.
Recorded slowly over the course of 2013 and 2014, the band has taken their time on this one, but seems to have matured to a point of not feeling the need to deliver something whopping or grandiose in musical girth with every release. We’re just stoked to see the Canadian post-rock pioneers continue. Now if they’d just announce a US tour already. For now, here’s an excerpt of opening track,”Peasantry OR ‘Light Inside Light!’” – Joshua Isaac Finch
Hello. I am New Plague. I am blackened hardcore. “What is blackened hardcore, Pablo?” You may ask, and I will tell you “Fuck bro, I think its hardcore that understands the marketability of black-metal and wants in on that shit.” Misleading sub-genres aside though, New Plague’s game is on lock.
You’re gonna read other reviews that use words like “brutal” or compound hyphenated words like “face-melting” and though I don’t feel brutalized, OR particularly face-melty, I do wanna circle-pit/core-dance like a giant asshole to this ten minutes of genuinely fuckin’ good hardcore. Dudes sound mad, and sweet fuck do I love me some mad. – Pablo Influenza
Album unavailable for stream until it drops tomorrow. Check out an exclusive stream at New Noise.